“If only…” and “Life on Hold” thinking is common for human beings, single or partnered. However, it means waiting for someone else or circumstances to change in order to be fulfilled or happy. For those in partnerships, it can take the form of “If only…she would listen to me” or “When the children are grown, we will have more time for us.” For the single person, it can take the form of:
Waiting for the phone to ring, waiting for a relationship to do fun things, waiting for “the” relationship to set up a sense of home and connectedness, waiting for him or her to “be the perfect relationship.”
Putting off getting a home or a pet, with the idea that this might jinx one’s prospect of a relationship (yes, some of us have thought that way!).
Avoiding situations that might involve risk or rejection; instead, passively hoping that Prince or Princess Charming will ring the doorbell.
Stubbornly holding onto a certain script of how our lives (and our relationships) should look , thinking only then can we enjoy ourselves and be happy.
Click here if you want some suggestions on how to counteract putting "life on hold."