Each article begins with a dating situation/story, which I then decode – I’m an expert at determining what is really going on in the male/female exchange based on behavioral and verbal cues, I’m particularly astute at deciphering if a man or woman is truly interested or not; Then I offer empowering advice regarding how to handle the situation and what healthy action the subject can take to honor herself/himself moving forward. Nicole Heinrich Master Life Coach
Look below for more of the Nitty Gritty!
WHERE ARE ALL THE SINGLE MEN?
There seems to be one question that is constantly on the minds of many single woman I come in contact with and that question is:“Where are all the single men?” to which I lamely reply, “I wish I knew.” I finally decided to conduct some research to shed light on the whereabouts of the elusive single male and to increase my chances of finding a date for Saturday night.After scouring hundreds of magazines, analyzing books on dating and asking women who date a lot of men where the single men are hiding, here is what I discovered...
The 5 best places to meet single men are, in no particular order:
I.Fly Fishing Trips. Don’t laugh.There are many outfitters who offer group day or weekend guided trips.The majority of participants will be men and not just your average men.We’re talking well educated, wealthy men of all ages. The male dominated sport of Fly Fishing is the equestrian of water sports.An art form in and of itself, the elite are attracted to this hobby and walking through the airport with fly fishing gear is definitely a conversation starter.What’s the best way to get started? Go online to check out the many trips to choose from.www.flyfishingheaven.com, www.flyfishusa.com
II.The Menswear Department. I kid you not. I picked up this tip from the book “How to Shop for a Husband” by Janice Lieberman. Think about it, what one finds in the mens department are men and lots of them. Simply browse the aisles and look for a tie for your Dad. Any excuse will do. Strike up a conversation with a cute guy by asking him to help you locate a great brand of jeans for men and tell him you’re shopping for a birthday gift for your Brother. You never know where the conversation will lead. What’s the best way to get started? Go to the mens section at major department stores such as Nieman Marcus,Bloomingdale’s or Nordstrom. Visit shops that cater to men such as: Casual Male (www.casualmale.com) and Big and Tall.
III.Grocery Stores. Yes, single men shop for food, too. Look for the man who has a few items in his cart, looks somewhat confused at the vegetable stand but has plenty of cheese doodles. This actually signals "well-rounded" for today's single guy. If he has a nice bottle of red wine tucked away near the corn chips and summer sausage, he may be a keeper.
IV.The Bookstore. With the advent of mega bookstores you don’t have to go far to findentire living rooms and coffee shops that cater to the people who want to read in a crowd. A lot of single men hang out in bookstores not only to read, but to meet single women who actually like to read as well. The atmosphere is calm and conducive to that first line, "So, what are you reading?"
V.Adult Education.Take an accounting, technology or financial planning class. These fieldsare dominated by men and you will no doubt find at least one man in your class that you can relate to.A classroom provides the perfect non threatening atmosphere conducive to small talk. You may even learn something useful at the same time.In Chicago, there are learning facilities such as the DiscoveryCenter where you can take a multitude of classes for fun and meet some like minded men in the process.
There you have it. The top places to meet single men and have fun in the process. Good luck and please feel free to leave me feedback should you meet Mr. Right.
Questions or Comments?: a guy here speaking: some of your recommendations may be pretty accurate but I beg to differ on the grocery store or men's wear dept. I am single and shop for groceries and several times I thought of striking up a conversation as to cooking or making salad's or types of cheese to use on specific dishes- to an obviously single women.No ring on finger.And have gotten the look of horror or "help! he's talking to me" so I say no go on the grocery stores, pretty much the same on the clothing dept.If I see a woman in the men's dept.,it's usually assumed she is shopping for the husband, boyfriend, or the Dad.Just a guy's opinion.
Thank you so much for your insight and commentary. It’s always refreshing and informative to get a single man’s opinion on what it’s like in the trenches. Your observations and personal experience is extremely useful and you make an excellent point. Your insight has motivated me to go a little bit deeper in my research. I decided to ask the single women who recommended the men’s department and the grocery store what unspoken cues they may be offering to let single men know they are interested in being approached. In other words, how do men know it’s safe to strike up a conversation? Each of them responded that they actively try to make and briefly maintain eye contact with the single men in their vicinity. When eye contact is made and briefly held, they will offer a smile and then avert their eyes back to the task at hand. They unanimously assured me that this is an invitation for conversation. They told me that if the active eye contact is absent then regardless of the location, the woman is not interested in interaction. So perhaps the advice these single women can provide that would be more useful is to see who is willing to make eye contact and offer a smile or a subtle invitation to conversation. This would likely apply to both single men and women. I would also love to hear from the male perspective where you feel single women would have the best chances of meeting single men. Your opinion is very welcome. Thanks again for your comments and for reading my article.
Dating Decoded #1: Megan
Dating Decoded #2: Unnatural Selection
From What is Your Date Really Thinking. Read Nicole's Rules of Engagement
Dating Decoded #3: Dating over 65? Worth it?
My name is Nicole. I am a certified Master Coach with 12 years of coaching experience. I am also very interested in understanding what makes a relationship last and why lasting relationships are so scarce. It is that curiosity that has led me to My Single Space. Conducting interviews with single men and women over 35 has proven very informative when it comes to deciphering what men and women are looking for in each other, how they go about finding a mate and whether the connection they create will be strong enough to support a long term love relationship. As a single woman, I can only hope this research will reveal answers that I can apply to my own life and freely share with others.