Spirituality can also be an important source of strength and inspiration when you are single. For example, the group of most fulfilled and optimistic participants in Cole’s (1999) study of 30-something single women, spoke of “God and Me are partners.” Their belief in a power greater than themselves allowed them to feel value in the life that they were living, since they were less likely to look at external trappings of success as evidence of their worth. Consequently, “single stigma” had less sting. They felt they belonged within the “mosaic” of God’s special creation. Some women also felt trusting that if they lived in the moment according to their values and principles that their lives would work out. For example, one woman shared, “If I am meant to marry, I will.”
A similar sense of acceptance of one’s unique life course is illustrated in the interview of a single middle-aged man: “Perhaps my calling is to be a really good friend, since I find great joy and fulfillment in my friendships. My relationships with women have always been more trouble than they’re worth!”
Spiritual and religious communities have traditionally been an important opportunity for inspiration, connection, and contribution for people who are single. For example, Kaye Collier McClaughlin, who has developed the “SoloFlight” program within the Episcopal Church, has written extensively about single adults as an especially important constituency. She describes how churches can provide “multiple gateways” to address the needs of singles. These gateways include: social-recreational programs; educational-spiritual programs; recovery programs; special opportunities for worship; and outreach programs.
f you are single and have a religious affiliation, you may want to explore (or create) initiatives for single adults within your denomination. If you are searching for some programs or communities that can address your spiritual or religious needs, you may want to begin your journey by exploring some of the Resources and Links.
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