While most respondents did not feel powerless, the issue seemed to be whether they were motivated or interested in pursuing relationships.One younger man felt powerless at times, especially post-college when it can be more difficult to meet women.
Do you think fear is a factor?Fear of what?
The fear of rejection, failure, disappointment, long-term commitment and a feeling of “Is it worth it?” were common responses.
Do you think ambivalence is a factor?Ambivalent about what?
Ambivalence about long-term commitments, not wanting to date all the time or to be tied down to a relationship, having to do all the work to maintain a relationship and feeling that there are limited potential relationships available were noted as factors.
Have you ever felt empowered to pursue a relationship?
All respondents said yes.
What empowered you?
Respondents felt empowered knowing the attraction was mutual, feeling the connection with someone where you sense their interest and you feel confident to pursue them and they show a willingness to extend out to you.Attraction, feeling confident and wanting more intimacy with someone.
What one thing would you say is the best way to empower you to get the relationship you want? Feeling a mutual connection to want to pursue it further.Getting out of my own way, such as not being motivated or thinking too much about what ifs and whys.Knowing what the other person wants or expects from you and being straightforward in communicating it.
And some thoughts and impressions from Rosemary, the second of our intrepid interviewers!
While most of us would like to be in a relationship, it seems that the fear of rejection or failure and ambivalence about long-term commitments and maintaining a relationship often keep us from pursuing many relationships.However, when there is an attraction to someone who shows mutual interest and a willingness to connect with us, we feel empowered to move beyond our fears and ambivalence to risk getting to know the person better and pursuing a relationship with them.
Rosemary Devlin has been a regular and valuable contributor to MySingleSpace. She has written on spirituality, travel, and has been one of the central "idea people" behind the site.
