Single Women: Don't Let Others Make You Feel Bad About Not Having a Man
Single Women:Don't Let Others Make You Feel Bad About Not Having A Man
It’s now January.Are you happy that the holidays and especially New Years is finally over?Of course, now you may have to worry about Valentine’s Day.
Why are holidays so depressing – just because you have no wedding band on your finger?
Lots of people (married and singles) don’t like holidays, for a number of reasons; Christmas is too commercial, there are memories of bad Christmas’ past, grief over loved ones who won’t share this holiday.New Year’s because they are expected to go out and party when they’d rather treat it as any other night.Valentine’s Day because, again, the expectations are you should be passionate and romantic.
You are entitled to feel however you choose about holidays, but please don’t use being single as the reason.That’s not fair to you!
The infamous “they” will have won if you shy away. Can’t go to parties, can’t go to family events because some one will say something about your being single.Or, if no one says anything, you know what they are thinking; some version of “poor you.”
Well, the choice is yours.If you allow yourself to feel like “poor me,” then “they” have won.It may be true that you wish you were married or at least partnered.And, you are entitled to feel sad, even depressed about not having a loving man in your life.But, just because you are sad that shouldn’t stop you from going on with your life.
In my research on single women (With or Without A Man: Single WomenTaking Control of Their Lives) I heard so many reasons why women pull back over the holidays.But, if you were most honest with yourself – is it really that you are embarrassed to be without a man or is it a societal expectation that you should have a man?Society also says married women should have children but lots of women choose not to or are unable to.They may feel awful, but they don’t have to hide because they have disappointed the societal mandate.
Stand up taller during the holidays.In fact, you can practice for Valentine’s Day.In advance, prepare non-defensive comments when someone is rude enough to say anything about your being single.Then, change the subject and talk about something of much more interest to you than that person’s reactions to your being without a man.
For support and more ideas about this, do check out my book, With or Without A Man.